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To maintain its independence hypertension 95th percentile discount perindopril 8 mg free shipping, the Unit is funded by a wide range of foundations and trusts arrhythmia exercise generic 8mg perindopril visa, sales of its publications and corporate donations from highly diverse sectors heart attack playing with fire best order perindopril. The decline of the World Health Organization Robert D Tollison & Richard E Wagner Social Affairs Unit 5 blood pressure elderly perindopril 4mg lowest price. Neo-shamanism is the application and practice of shamanic techniques in contemporary Western society and functions as a system of healing alternative to biomedicine hypertension treatment guidelines 2014 purchase perindopril uk. Following traditions of ancient shamanism from around the world arteria epigastrica cranialis superficialis commissura labiorum dorsalis perindopril 4mg without prescription, modern individuals use an altered state of consciousness to get information from extra-material realms (referred to as nonordinary reality) to effect healing for themselves, others, society, and the planet. The neo-shamanic worldview holds that the extra-material world is as real as the material; the physical and spiritual are merged and can be utilized to assist humans. The modern self seeks autonomous self cultivation, aspires to ground identity within, and desires to exercise independence, authority, choice, and expressivity. This is in contrast to the traditional self, which was embedded in the established order of things. This research addresses the following: 1) the idea of a disenchanted modernity, its relevance for biomedicine, and how neo shamanism may provide a re-enchanted cosmology for those who engage in it. How does one study neo-shamanism: more specifically, how does one study an enchanted cosmology with disenchanted tools These questions are explored through participant-observation and experiential participation in neo-shamanic activities and interviews with neo-shamanic practitioners and participants. Data Collection Activities: Pilot Study and Fieldwork, November 2003 November 200869 2. Shamanic Traditions/Schools in which Interview Sample Received Training, Schooling, or Healing. Polly Wiessner, you are a champion for your students and I survived in the material world much due to your concern for my welfare. Thank you for your guidance and support and for always going to bat for me over the years. Laurence Loeb, I can always count on you for critical insight and fatherly understanding. Bonnie Glass-Coffin, your deep understanding of this subject was a beacon during this long process and I thank you for the opportunity to teach in your stead when you were on sabbatical. Allan Ainsworth, you lent a helping hand when I was foundering early in my doctoral program and I thank you for your coaching during that crucial step of this process and your unflagging support. I stand by my principle: no matter how much work there is to be done, an hour or two out-of-doors only increases productivity, while supporting health and sanity. To each of the individuals who participated in this research and gave tirelessly of themselves to help me understand what modern shamanism is all about, the depth of my gratitude cannot be expressed. One need no longer have recourse to magical means in order to master or implore the spirits, as did the savage, for whom such mysterious powers existed. Because of its emphasis on the external, material, and measurable, modernity is said to offer a dissatisfactory, disenchanted cosmology. Science does not address issues of meaning and the deep nature of being (Berman 1981; Howe 2006; Weber 1946; 2 Wilber 1998). Weber (1930) states that such a world results in deep spiritual isolation and profound inner loneliness. Human neurophysiology evolved not only under the selective pressures of a material environment, but also within a network of relationships, including relationships with the extra-material, unseen environment (Winkleman 2004; Sosis 2004). Berman (1981) refers to this merger as participating consciousness: the view of nature which predominated in the West down to the eve of the Scientific Revolution was that of an enchanted world. Rocks, trees, rivers, and clouds were all seen as wondrous, alive, and human beings felt at home in this environment. A member of this cosmos was not an alienated observer of it but a direct participant in its drama. His personal destiny was bound up with its destiny, and this relationship gave meaning to his life. It is this idea, a dichotomous view of premodern and modern life, that is a foundation for the Romantic counter-reaction to modernity that neo-shamanism stems from. There are modern individuals living in contemporary society who experientially encounter an enchanted cosmos in the course of their lives, and some whose day-to-day lived experience is that of a participating consciousness. This experience with an enchanted world in a society founded upon disenchanted assumptions generates tension. The tension resulting from an enchanted experience within a disenchanted social context may produce anomie, which may manifest in emotional/psychological or physical illness, alienation, or fear that one is insane. The neo-shamanic worldview can provide relief from this tension, healing its consequences and providing a framework within which enchanted lived experience makes sense. Neo-Shamanism: Counter-Reaction to Disenchanted Modernity A desire for means to ontological satisfaction is evident in the long tradition of counter-reaction to the material orientation of modernity (Berman 1981; Heelas 1996; Jakobsen 1999; Ray & Anderson 2000; von Stuckrad 2002; Wilber 1998). Romanticism th th in the19 century, and the 20 century Naturphilosophie of holding compassionate empathy for an animated natural world paralleled the developments of modernity (Berman 1981; von Stuckrad 2002; Wilber 1998). Carlos Castaneda brought shamanism to the forefront of American consciousness in 1968 with his book the Teachings of Don Juan: a Yaqui Way of Knowledge. He translated what he considered (nearly) universal traditional shamanic elements into an acultural package of practices for the modern shamanic seeker and participant. The result is a new, modern shamanism, in which traditional shamanic techniques and ideas are transformed into modern society into a constellation of techniques, practices, and beliefs about the nature of illness and the best way to heal it. It is referred to variously as modern shamanism, contemporary Western shamanism, American shamanism, and neo-shamanism. I will use the terms neo-shamanism and modern shamanism interchangeably throughout this paper. The term neo-shamanism points to the new form of shamanism in modern society, a reworking of traditional shamanism in a new context, while the term modern shamanism reminds us that traditional shamanism has been in fact transformed into a modern phenomenon for modern individuals. Neo-Shamanism Neo-shamanism is a contemporary cultural phenomenon varied in form but not in function. Central is the premise that we live in an enchanted world, rich with an unseen, energetic reality, alongside and in addition to the material world. Through neo-shamanism, the modern individual, who has been enculturated into the premises of a disenchanted cosmos and been handed the tools of a scientific 1 All quotes and paraphrases from participants in this study presented in this document come from interview transcripts or field notes unless otherwise indicated. This romanticized, authentic shaman is held up as wise sage and healer, with skills and tools to mediate between the material and spirit worlds. In this between-worlds travel the shaman brings healing to the individuals of his or her community, as well as the community as a whole. His premise is that because imagination has been invalidated as an epistemological stance in Western thought, we have lost the ability to take our imaginal experiences seriously, and have thus lost the soul of our culture, and ourselves. In contrast, Harner (1980) takes a literal stance regarding the disenchanted nature of modern culture. His remedy 2 Soul Loss is a cross-cultural shamanic disease category: an individual can lose part of his or her soul (thus his or her vital essence) as a result of trauma or inter-personal relationships. Harner (1980) suggests that many modern individuals have left the Age of Faith behind them. They no longer trust ecclesiastical dogma and authority to provide them with adequate evidence of the realms of the spirit or, indeed, with evidence that there is spirit. Second and/or third-hand anecdotes in competing and culture-bound religious texts from other times and places are not convincing enough to provide paradigms for their personal existence. Neo-shamanism, to the contrary, rests on a broad empiricism, one which allows for evidence from direct experience in general not just that apprehended through the physical senses (Fuller 2001; Harner 1980; Wilber 1998). In the course of my research as I asked people to describe neo-shamanism it became apparent that the shamanic lived experience is all of these things, providing a very accessible and profound felt-sense of the sacred. One young practitioner, Melanie, stated that her engagement in 8 modern shamanism validated her experiences and made the spiritual more real to her. And indeed, study participants were often at a loss for words to adequately describe their modern shamanic experiences. As a counter-reaction to the disenchantment of modernity, neo-shamanism fits into the general category of the New Age. The New Age is a complex of many traditions, techniques, and ideas centered around the idea that the world constitutes an expression of a higher, more comprehensive divine nature which is hidden within each 9 being. These metaphysical th movements grew as the 19 century came to a close, culminating in forms such as New Thought, a philosophy which celebrated the inner divinity of every man and woman and in which mind is primary and matter is relegated to a secondary and resultant status (Fuller 2001). Modernity not only disenchanted the cosmos, but also detraditionalized the self (Heelas 1996; Porter 2003). The detraditionalized self, on the other hand, seeks autonomous self-cultivation, aspires to ground identity within, and desires to exercise independence, authority, choice, and expressivity (Heelas 1996). Spiritual ignorance, not sin, becomes the fundamental human problem, and results in a contemporary high concern with seeking spiritual growth. This is evident in the fourteen percent of Baby Boomers who are metaphysical seekers (Fuller 2001:98). They have been influenced by college level science courses and an educational atmosphere of liberal skepticism, and disenchanted by religion. Deism, the idea that God, after imparting a rational design to the universe, does not intervene in its operation, came to replace theism as rational thought came to replace what were considered to be magical and superstitious ideas. The turn to the self of modernity enhanced individual autonomy and this was echoed in new religious threads alternative to institutionalized religion. The relationship with nature of traditional (premodern or tribal) peoples is romanticized by the West, into an assumption that, before humans started mucking everything up, people were necessarily in close harmonious communion with nature.

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Poor little New York boy who inherits an English castle in a Frances Hodgson Burnett tale (The) Little Prince hypertension kidney pain buy discount perindopril 4mg on line. Curious prince from a distant asteroid in an Antoine de Saint-Exupery tale Little John heart attack from weed order perindopril 2mg otc. Folk tale character who by herself plants wheat arteria3d - fortress construction pack cheap perindopril 8mg free shipping, harvests it hypertension 4 mg discount generic perindopril uk, and bakes bread heart attack 8 months pregnant order perindopril 4 mg fast delivery, then refuses to share it with those who were unwilling to help her Little Red Riding Hood arteria pack order perindopril without prescription. Young farmboy from the remote desert planet of Tatooine who becomes a Jedi Knight in the Star Wars series Macbeth. William Shakespeare character whose wife persuades him to kill the king to gain the throne for himself Madeline. Little girl always out of step with her other 11 classmates in a convent school in Paris Mafatu. Laura Ingallsolder sister blinded by scarlet fever in a series of Little House books Mary Lennox. Teenage girl living in River Heights featured in a series of mystery and detective stories created by Edward L. Frontiersman variously nicknamed Hawkeye, Pathfinder, Trapper, and Leatherstocking in the 5 James Fenimore Cooper novels featuring him Oliver Twist. Orphaned boy who joins a gang of thieves but after injury in a failed bur glary in a Charles Dickensnovel of the same name discovers his family roots and escapes his life of crime Orcs. Loyal and brave dog who helps Little Arliss on the Texas frontier in a Fred Gipson tale Othello. Shakespeare character who is tricked by Iago into killing his wife, Desde monda, thinking she has been unfaithful, and then kills himself out of remorse Paddington. Legendary character who plays his flute to lure all the rats away from a town, then charms all the children away in the same way after the towns people fail to pay him his due in a Robert Browning poem Pinocchio. Wooden puppet who wants to become a boy and whose nose grows longer every time he tells a lie in a story by Carlo Collodi Pip. Nickname of the orphan Philip Pirrip, who befriends the escaped convict Abel Magwitch, in Charles DickensGreat Expectations Pippi Longstocking. Free-thinking, strong-willed red-haired young girl with braids who lives in Villa Villekulla in a story by Astrid Lindgren Pollyanna. Red-booted fairy tale cat who through a series of clever tricks pleases the king and wins the princesshand for his master Quasimodo. Fairy tale character whose long hair enables a prince to climb into a cas tle tower and free her from imprisonment Rebecca Rowena Randall. Mongoose who kills a poisonous snake and saves lives in a Rudyard Kipling story Rip Van Winkle. Washington Irving character who falls asleep for 20 years while hunting in the Catskill Mountains and is not recognized when he returns home Robin Hood. Legendary outlaw and archer of 13th-century England who with the help of his band of Merry Men stole from the rich and gave to the poor Robinson Crusoe. Fairy tale dwarf who helps a young woman spin straw into gold in exchange for a promise to give him her firstborn child unless she can guess his name, which she does, prompting him to kill himself Sancho Panza. Fairy tale princess released from a spell to sleep for 100 years when a handsome prince kisses her Snoopy. Coon dog who gets shot trying to protect his master in a book by William Armstrong Spider-Man. Superhero into whom Peter Parker is transformed when a mutant spider bites him, giving him great strength and climbing ability Stuart Little. Hero reared by apes in the jungle and known for his strength and agility in a series of stories by Edgar Rice Burroughs Three Billy Goats Gruff. Goats who are bothered by an ugly troll living under a bridge in Norse folklore Three Little Pigs. Characters who build houses of different materials only to have a wolf blow down the two weaker houses Tiny Tim. Hans Christian Andersen bird who is shunned by all the other animals but grows up to be a beautiful swan Uncle Remus. Stuffed rabbit magically turned into a real rabbit in a 1922 book by Margery Williams Walter Mitty. Quiet, easy-going man who dreams of glory and heroic actions in a story by James Thurber Wendy. Klondike half-dog, half-wolf that ends his days in California in a book by Jack London Wilbur. Fantasy monster figures that Max tries to tame after being sent to his room in a Maurice Sendak story Willy Wonka. Seemingly brave, powerful character who says he will give Dorothy and her 3 friends what they are seeking but turns out to be a little old man with a bald head and a wrinkled face in L. Two people who resemble each other, as in appearance, thinking, or acting Cinderella. Someone lifted from obscurity to fame and fortune or someone whose merit is unrecognized for a time Count of Monte Cristo. Mysterious and extremely rich person, especially one who uses his wealth to get a measure of revenge Don Juan. Anyone destroyed by his own creation or anything that causes the ruin of its creator Horatio Alger hero. Something trivial or childish, or something quite simplistic and not very challenging Pied Piper. Leader whom others willingly follow, especially one who leads others into danger using false promises Pollyanna. Someone or something very plain and not very promising that in time becomes beautiful, important, or praiseworthy Uncle Tom. Female Irish spirit who foretells a death in a family by wailing outside the house Basilisk. Venom-spitting, lizardlike monster having the head and wings of a rooster and the body of a snake and allegedly fatal breath and glance Big Foot. Mischievous, brownielike goblin or spirit, especially one haunting a particular place Bogeyman (boogyman). Evil being who kidnaps little children who leave home without permission Borrowers, The. Faceless gray-cloaked Azkaban prison guard able to sense any happy thought and suck the life from it or from his victims with a kiss in a Harry Potter novel by J. Brownie who guards hidden treasure; mindless old man, goblin, or house-elf, such as the who appears in a Harry Potter novel Dragon. Waterspout, usually in the form of a grotesque figure or fan tastic creature Ghost. Spirit of a dead person who appears to living people as a pale, shadowy form Ghoul. Evil spirit that robs graves and feeds on the flesh of the dead in Muslim folklore Gnome. Small imaginary creature said humorously to cause problems in the workings of an aircraft or other operation Hobbit. Supernatural being of Muslim folklore who takes human or ani mal form to influence human relationships but is better known today as one who lives in a lamp or bottle and grants the wish es of whoever releases him Jabberwock. Giant gorilla who when brought to New York City from Skull Island climbs the Empire State Building and is shot down by airplanes Leprechaun. Irish elf who allegedly if caught will reveal where a treasure is hidden, usually a crock of gold at the end of a rainbow Loch Ness monster. Sea creature with the head and upper body of a woman or man and the form of a fish from the waist down Moby Dick. Dwarf of Scandinavian mythology who lives in caves and hoards money or treasure Unicorn. Corpse that comes back to life and sucks the blood of sleeping persons at night Warlock. Marble, gold, and silver palace of the boy who found the magic lamp in the Arabian Nights Asteroid B 612.

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The idea of maintaining a category of being just because oppressive people in the past created it so they could exploit a segment of the population hypertension diagnosis 2 mg perindopril, does not make sense blood pressure chart height and weight purchase 2mg perindopril visa. To say that one wants to memorialize that category based on the sufering of people who occupy it makes some sense blood pressure medication and weight loss purchase perindopril 8mg without prescription, but does the memorialization have to take the form of continuing the identity However pulse pressure quizlet buy perindopril 4mg lowest price, the problem is that blood pressure 8555 purchase perindopril with amex, as it stands now arrhythmia flashcards order perindopril line, the human genome is in need of fxing to make it perfect. It is based on a pre-postmodern defnition of human subjects as whole, complete, perfect, self-sustaining. This is the neoclassical model of Pico della Mirandola, Descartes, Locke, Hume, Kant, and so on. It would be in the interest of both those people and their physicians to heal their illnesses. Since there is no cure for these diseases at the present time, it seems reasonable to think that we can eliminate the defect by means of genetic medicine. So the idea that one would want to fx these genetic defects seems more than logical. In both cases, the aim is to improve the human stock and to remove genetic defects. The genetic markers for both these are recessive, which means that a great number of the population will have genetic information (or misinformation) for these diseases. It turns out that people who carry the trait are resistant to malaria (in the case of sickle-cell anemia) and cholera (in the case of cystic fbrosis). What we are discussing is an algorithm of collective protectivity through genetic diversity versus harm to select individuals. The use of genetic testing to avoid giving birth to children with genetic defects is itself problematic. On a simple statistical level, it can probably only be done in relatively wealthy countries and among middle and upper-class people. Paradoxically, the efect of doing so may actually serve to increase the End of Identity Politics and the Beginning of Dismodernism 237 the incidence of the condition because each time a person is born with the disease, two of the inher ited traits end with the person upon his or her death. By bypassing this draconian form of genetic regulation, we may actually be contributing to the increased distribution of the trait in the gene pool, particularly in developing countries. The efect shows us that the simple answer of fxing the defect itself is not simple. French courts upheld this idea in regard to women who did not receive genetic testing and who gave birth to children who were, for example, born without an arm. The courts en dorsed compensatory payments to such children who had the right to not be born and whose parents were not able to exercise that right because of lack of information. Nevertheless, here indeed is a slippery slope, which many people with dis abilities have regarded with suspicion. They rightly claim that their parents might have aborted them had they known of their upcoming impairment as children. On the other side of the disability divide, Deaf parents and parents of small stature have the ability to screen for the birth of a hearing child or a normal-sized child and to abort. And, of course, in countries like India and China, genetic testing is used to abort female fetuses. In the United States, the American Society for Reproductive Medicine, which sets the standards for most fertility clinics, ofcially stated that it is sometimes acceptable for couples to choose the sex of their children by selecting either male or female embryos and discarding the rest. Designer babies, as foreseen in the flm Gattaca, can begin to be seen as those who will not contain, for example, genes for breast cancer or high blood pressure. The body is never a single physical thing so much as a series of attitudes toward it. The grand categories of the body were established during the Renaissance and the Enlighten ment, and then refned through the use of science and eugenics. Postmodernism along with science has assaulted many of these categories of self and identity. Genetics ofers the way back, without, thus far, being able to deliver on that promise. What I would like to propose is that this new ethics of the body begin with disability rather than end with it. I think it would be a major error for disability scholars and advocates to defne the category in the by-now very prob lematic and depleted guise of one among many identities. In fact I argue that disability can capitalize on its rather diferent set of defnitions from other current and known identities. To do this, it must not ignore the instability of its self-defnitions but acknowledge that their instability allows disability to transcend the problems of identity politics. In the social model, disability is presented as a social and political problem that turns an impair ment into an oppression either by erecting barriers or by refusing to create barrier-free environments (where barrier is used in a very general and metaphoric sense). Further, it is hard if not impossible to make the case that the actual category of disability really has internal coherence. It includes, according to the Americans with Disabilities Act of 1990, condi tions like obesity, attention defcit disorder, diabetes, back pain, carpal tunnel syndrome, severe facial scarring, chronic fatigue syndrome, skin conditions, and hundreds of other conditions. In response to initial concerns that too many people with minor conditions were qualifying as disabled, the federal courts have is sued very narrow interpretations of disability. As with afrmative action, there is also general resentment among the populace that certain minority groups have special rights and privileges with regard to college admissions, job hiring, and so on. I want to be clear that I am not arguing against the protection of historically oppressed groups, as I will explain further. But I am calling attention to the increasingly inefective means of achieving a goal of equality and equity in housing, jobs, and public accommodations. Indeed, the protected class will only become larger as the general population ages. With the graying of the baby boomers, we will see a major increase in the sheer numbers of people with disabilities. The increase in the elderly population will cause a major change in the disease patterns of these countries. Tere will be increasing rates of cancer, kidney failure, eye disease, diabetes, mental illness, and other chronic, degenerative illnesses such as cardiovascular disease. Although we may want to call all these senior citizens people with disabilities, what will that mean And how will this majority of older people redefne disability, since they did not grow up with a disability or acquire one early in life Just as people can slip into dis ability in the blink of an eye or the swerve of a wheel, so too can people be cured. Just as we saw a major reduction in infectious diseases in the West over the previous century, so too may we see a decrease in disabili ties. Gene therapy, colossally unsuccessful up until this point, could have a major although unlikely breakthrough and become the treatment of choice for many illnesses. Stem cell research could lead to the regeneration of many tissues that are the cause of degenerative and traumatic diseases and condi tions. And technological fxes may become much more sophisticated, so that, for example, cochlear implants, now very problematic even if you believe in the concept, could become foolproof. Indeed, this specter is rather terrifying and ofensive to many Deaf people, and with good reason. Advances in biotechnology could create natural and efective gaits for paraplegics or useful prostheses that might be virtually indistinguishable from human limbs. What we are discussing is the instability of the category of disability as a subset of the instability of identity in a postmodern era. Rather than ignore the unstable nature of disability, rather than try to fx it, we should amplify that quality to dis tinguish it from other identity groups that have, as I have indicated, reached the limits of their own projects. Indeed, instability spells the end of many identity groups; in fact it can create a dismodernist approach to disability as a neoidentity. What characterizes the limitations of the identity group model is its exclusivity (which contains the seeds of its own dissolution through the paradox of the proliferation of identity groups). Indeed, you have to be pretty unidentifed in this day and age to be without an identity. So the very criticism of the category of disability as being too large, as containing too big a protected class, is actually a fait accompli with the notion of identity in general. We should not go on record as saying that disability is a fxed identity, when the power behind the concept is that disability presents us with a malleable view of the human body and identity. Enlightenment thought would have it that the human is a measurable quantity, that all men are created equal, and that each individual is paradoxically both the same and diferent. Rather, those who pushed identity had very strong Enlightenment notions of the universal and the individual. The universal subject of postmodernism may be pierced and narrative-resistant but that subject was still whole, independent, unifed, self-making, and capable. The dismodern era ushers in the concept that diference is what all of us have in common. What dismodernism signals is a new kind of universalism and cosmopolitanism that is reacting to the localization of identity. To accomplish a dismodernist view of the body, we need to consider a new ethics of the body. Rather it must be a corrective to the myths not only of the Enlightenment but of postmodernism as well.

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But every night hypertension the silent killer 2 mg perindopril for sale, your hands touch my scars hypertension nephrology associates purchase 4mg perindopril with mastercard, raise my twisted limbs to graze against your lips blood pressure when to worry purchase perindopril 2mg overnight delivery. Not because I was hungry or thirsty hypertension 24 hour urine test buy perindopril in india, afraid blood pressure readings order 4mg perindopril otc, or in pain blood pressure medication gives me a headache order perindopril from india, but because I was beginning to want to talk. To them, they were like the piercing cries of a sea bird, like a gull gliding over the ocean. To such an extent, in fact, that it was only much later that I found out my paternal grandparents had been married in the chapel of the National Institute for the Deaf in Bordeaux. In an attempt to hide their concern, perhaps, or avoid facing the truth, my parents had forgotten about all that! Basically, they were proud of not having a little brat who would wake them up in the wee hours of the morning. And since my parents silenced their anguish, maybe I had to scream for them as well. When I used to walk up to you, you seemed so surprised you would practically jump, as though you had become aware of my presence only a split second before. We whistled, called you, slammed doors, watched you clap your hands and sway as though you were dancing to the music. During the examination, they made you listen to sounds so loud they practically pierced my eardrums. We tried, to no avail, to fnd out who might have been deaf on one side of the family or the other. I believe there was no sense whatsoever of time progression in my mind during that period. She showed my mother it was possible to have a relationship with me, to make me laugh, so I could go on living as I had before she knew about my deafness. My mother sat in on the sessions, which ultimately became a way for her to assume her maternal role. It hurt him to see my mother communicating with me in a language whose intimacy was beyond his reach. I ofen went up to my mother and pulled on her arm for her to tell me what he was saying. Like all deaf children, I wore a hearing aid and more or less put up 420 Emmanuelle Laborit with it. They had to be perfectly lined up, eyes closed, the blanket pulled up exactly to where it should be with their arms on top. It all had to be fendishly precise even though everything in my head was disorganized. The tranquil waves that gently roll up on the beach evoke a sensation of serenity and calm. I was unaware of all that since I had no idea at the time how society and the hearing world were structured. I was always scared of the carsheadlights at night, those images that came and went on the wall. But the lights were strange, scary night sounds to me and they alarmed me tremendously. I needed her all the time because there were so many things all mixed-up in my head, so many questions. And so these words became special for her and me, words that no one else could understand. Mother wanted me to force myself to speak, and I tried for her sake, but what I really wanted to do was point and show. Little deaf children ofen have hearing aids with two earphones connected by a cord in the shape of a Y and a microphone on their stomach. But they were noises that I heard anyway, like vibrations from cars going by or music. Although it was completely illogical, we hoped that you would end up actually being able to hear someday, as if by magic. It was so hard to accept the fact that you had been born into a world that was diferent from ours. I really felt sadness, but wanted my parents to smile and be Selections from the Cry of the Gull 423 cheerful. I have no frst or last childhood memory because of the disorganization of my mind at that time. Flashback: My mother is pregnant with my little sister and I feel the vibrations very strongly. My perception of confict was physical, too, but it was diferent: My mother is giving me a spanking. As soon as he found out I was deaf, the frst thing he wondered was how I would ever hear music. When I was very little, he took me to concerts as a way of passing his love of music on to me. For a long time my father harbored the hope that I would one day wake up, as if from a long sleep. He wants to make me experience the guitar, so he tells me to bite the neck of the instrument. The people in the concert hall, the lighting efects, the atmosphere are all part of the vibrations. I perceive music through my body, with my bare feet on the foor, latching onto the vibrations. The piano, electric guitar, African drums, percussion instruments, all have colors and I sway along with them. Suppose I came from another planet and ran into humans all speaking diferent languages.

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